I am actually very glad that I did not post this when I originally scheduled to do so as my thoughts on the matter have changed. But before I share mine, I would love to hear yours.
Do you “Babywise“?
Are you an E-A-S-Y family?
Is your baby the “Happiest Baby on the Block“?
How do you feel about the Ferber method or “crying it out”?
I’m not asking rhetorically, I really want to know what my fellow Mom’s are doing in their homes. However I will say that I’ve had to ask myself these questions and many more as it relates to my little one’s sleep…and mine for that matter.
When I first started my answer to my blog title was “nah”. The first 9 weeks of her life have been a roller coaster of great sleep, little sleep, sleep on me, sleep in swing, sleep in rocker, nurse to sleep, drive to sleep…ALL KINDS OF SLEEP…and no sleep.
My “nah” response centered around what many people find controversial about Babywise and methods like it…I felt like I should be on her schedule, not her on mine. I mean she’s so new, so tiny, so used to being in the cozy of the womb where it is dark, and loud, and snuggly, and up against me. I could not bring myself to force her to do otherwise. If a good night’s sleep for her meant she slept on me, then so be it. If it meant that I had to nurse her down, then so be it. If my own ability to do basic hygienic tasks meant I had to put her in the swing and she fell asleep there then so be it.
Just this past week…
I have changed my mind.
I now have a healthy two month old. Her weight gain is appropriate, she is happy and smiley, my milk production is sufficient, we are in a good place. Along with her physical developments is also her mental development. Meaning, she knows more, she see’s more, she understands more and she uses the time we should be sleeping as the exact time she decides to go HAM in an effort to keep me in the room, or keep us holding her, or keep being nursed. She’s smart, she knows what her cries do to me and she’s using it to her full advantage.
Enter sleep training.
I was kinda’, sorta’, sometimes, holding a schedule over these past two months, but it was very loose and very fluent to her cues. Starting this week I am doing it all out. I’ve written it down in large letters, it is on display for all who enter the home to see, and I am trying it out to the best of my ability. Our nighttime routines need more normalcy (while being well aware of her wonder weeks and potential need for more attention) and so Mommy has a plan…or so I think.
This is not just about me being comfortable and sleeping well, but this is also about her sleeping well and about her ability to continue to sleep well when Dad begins his paternity leave and when she begins to be watched by someone else during the day. I have 4 weeks from now to set a proper schedule before Dad takes over and then 6 weeks after that before she is it at daycare regularly. Mama has to go back to work, Daddy is in school, and so Baby, as cute as she is, needs to learn how to go to sleep and stay asleep on a more consistent basis.
I will say, however, that I am not fully a fan of the Ferber method or “crying it out”. There is maybe a minute or two of crying to see if she will self-soothe and then one of us will go in to help with the process. A quick soothe, then lay her back down. We do not increase the time we wait as instructed by Ferber, we simply do not allow it to escalate too high. So far, this has worked out well. It is a little time-consuming, as it may take multiple times of this before she is fully calm, but she will be continually assured that we are there and that she is not alone.
I’ll report back just before going back to work to say how this has been going, but in the meantime, I would love to hear what has worked (or not worked) for you.